Fuck I’m at the point where I can’t even pretend to be happy around people. I talk normally but my expressions and tone g8ve me away. 3 people already asked what’s wrong but of course o can’t talk about feelings and emotions.
Like it’s not even just tonight. I’ve thought the best outcome for me would be to get married once then divorced a few years later. That’s the best case scenario for me. I might as well embrace the worst of it now. Brotherhood is amazing but fuck. I’ve only had a handful of girls that I could go to and now I’m single as fuck. I’ve been single as fuck for years and as much as I try or don’t try it won’t change. I know how it’s going to all workout but for the mean time I just wish I wasn’t all alone. Its gonna end up being permanent but right now I wish I had something. Instead I’m sitting in the front of my house while everyone else is in the backyard or in the house having a good Friday night.
Its only 9:56 and I’m already hating myself. I’m already feeling like a piece of trash.
I’m really not feeling people right now. I’m really drunk but I just wanna be with someone special or a couple good friends. So while I have like 20 friends at my place I’m just gonna chill by myself and drink.
Ha I’m gonna be single forever.